Perseverance
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
My name is Sarah, and I am a homeschool mom of five, as well as an author, entrepreneur, speaker, and radio network news anchor. I have not left my home since December 31st, and it is nearly March. I want to share a bit of my journey not to scare you, but to give you hope when it seems like your world is crashing down.
I was just recovering from a bad fall that had caused a severe, nerve-damaging laceration on my dominant writing hand in the middle of writing my next book. Four months had passed while I healed, and I felt defeated and exhausted wrestling with the words and the work.
Two weeks after all the stitches were removed, I contracted COVID-19. The first three days, I was delirious with high fever. Seven weeks of long days of writing, typing with one hand, had wore me out and tanked my immune system. COVID hit me hard.
On day 10 of COVID, I had a nasty scare. My headache went to a 10 out of 10 on the pain scale. I could not turn my head in either direction. It felt like my entire skull was being squeezed in a press, and the pressure was unbearable. The pain was so intense that I wanted to crawl away on my hands and knees. Sitting in one place was like leaving your hand in a burning fire.
Nothing could touch the pain. My husband urged me throughout the night to go to the emergency room. Finally at 4 AM, I thought I was not going to make it through the night. The pain was more than I could bear. I sat there in the darkness, upright, swaddled in blankets with ice across the back of my head; and I cried out to God.
I started writing notes to my kids in my head, telling them that Jesus was the only thing that mattered. That when all else failed, they needed to study Scripture, surround themselves with other Christians, and love the Lord with all their heart. I made plans in my mind of what would happen to my family when I was gone; what everything would look like. I had taken such good care of myself. Was this it— at age 42? When my husband rolled over, would I be alive next to him? Or would I cause him the worst nightmare of his life?
I made it through the night and went into my doctor immediately the next day. She ran a number of tests and notified me that I wasn’t just fighting COVID, but I actually had a viral and bacterial infection in my brain. The intense headache was from swelling. She was using every bit of knowledge and resources she had to find a solution for me, one that would keep me honor my commitment to homeopathic care, keep me from invasive medical procedures, and trust that my body could fight this infection with the right kind of care. I went home with 9 new supplements, added to the massive protocols I was following for the coronavirus.
The next few weeks were a rollercoaster of severe headaches, fever, fatigue, and wondering if I was ever going to get better. I laid in bed with blinding pain, begging God to make it stop. I prayed for God to direct me through every decision regarding my medical care, and heard Him tell me to “Wait.”
Weeks full of intensive care for my infections and the effects of COVID. Weeks of work left unfinished, messages left unanswered. Weeks of not being able to care for my family, or homeschool my children, or be with my grandchildren. But, eventually my headache improved. I could speak and walk and move again. I could sit and write. I pulled out my laptop and kept moving, writing, believing this next book would get finished.
This week, an MRI shows that my brain swelling is receding, but may take six months for my brain to fully recover. I write this on my 50th day of fever; seven straight weeks, unbroken. The highest fevers and by far, the longest fever of my life before this. I am still testing positive for COVID. I still cannot feel the fingers in my left hand. I ate nothing but bone broth for more than 3 weeks. And yet, the book is done.
And all the glory goes to God.
I don’t know why some people have trials and others seem to be ok. I do not know why some get sick and some do not. I do not know why some get severe cases of COVID, and others are over it in four days. I do not know why some face unbelievable hurdles and others seem to be blessed. But I do know one thing. Paul said it in Philippians 4:12:
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”
You see, it doesn’t matter what we have. The reality is that we serve a great big God who is always there. And when we are obedient, even in persecution, even while under spiritual attack, He is still on the throne. And He still has favor over us. We just need to trust Him and move.
Somehow, this book was written with a hand laceration, nerve damage, COVID-19, a viral and bacterial infection in my brain, and 50 days of fever. There were many days where I cried out to God and said, “Really?? My dominant hand?! Why??” There were days where I felt like I was writing with one hand behind my back, hopping on one foot, blindfolded, with my mental ability taken from me when COVID smacked me down.
But sometimes the greatest attacks are because you are doing the greatest things. Satan does not want millions of people blessed. He doesn’t want prosperity over your family. And he definitely doesn’t want you to have hope.
There is a great God who says He knows the plans He has for you, and they are plans for hope and a future—and plans to prosper you (Jeremiah 29:11).
This may have been an awful year. It may have been the worst year you’ve ever had. You may have suffered tremendous grief and loss—and my little story is a blip compared to the suffering you have endured. I know friends who have lost businesses and jobs and precious loved ones. They have been lonely and isolated and ignored. They have been stagnant. They have spent months in fear and transition and uncertainty. They have battled depression.
There is a need for hope this coming year.
I will tell you this: you already have everything you need to fight. You may not feel strong enough—and that’s ok. I was not strong enough to write my book. I was the weakest I’ve been in my life. But that’s the neat thing: when we are weak, He is strong. My book has an anointing over it, because I was not strong enough to write it. That means God gets ALL the glory. It’s God’s mercy and goodness and faithfulness.
All you need to do is be obedient. To persevere. To fight when no one is listening. To walk.
If you walk even the smallest steps, God will use them.
Tonight, despite tremendous adversity and spiritual attack, my book goes to print. Knowing that book is done is my whisper for you to keep going. You have so much left to fight for!
What has COVID taught me? Be brave. Hold onto hope tightly. Vision and purpose keep you moving and give you something to think about other than sickness and pain. Love those around you with all you have; but love Jesus more. Read Scripture even when you think you can’t. Listen to the voice of the Lord. For that, you must be still long enough to hear it.
This year will be what you make of it, not what it makes of you. You can proclaim God’s goodness with one hand. You can proclaim God’s goodness with a brain infection and the virus of a global pandemic! I know it! Look at your trials with the knowledge that the strength of the God of all creation is with you. Then you will see struggles differently. You will see them as His struggles, not yours.
Walk, friend. Don’t stay in bed.
Meet Sarah!
Sarah Harnisch is a 4-time Amazon best-selling author, homeschool mom of five, Lolli (grandma) to three, and 23-year radio network, news anchor. She runs two thriving and successful businesses and speaks internationally on natural health and Jesus!
